PIG-AWAY!

Hi! Billy Mays here for Pig-Away!

Swine flu gotcha down? High fever gotcha sweatin’ like a pig? Too sick to go hog wild out on the town?

Then you need Pig-Away, the easy way to dump that swine flu right on its furry little ass!

Pig-Away is not a medicine, but a DNA-altering ointment that str-r-r-r-r-r-rips your body of anything even remotely porcine.

Legitimate medication can have nasty side effects, like nausea, lethargy and the desire to spend your money wisely.

Not Pig-Away! And it’s so easy to use! Simply scoop out a few handfuls of the neon green ointment… sure, it’s a got a knee-buckling noxious odor, but who cares? You’re on your way to a full recovery!

Then, simply cover your body from snout to hoof… don’t forget the butt crack!… wait just 72 hours, rinse, and voila! Your body is delightfully free of the swine flu as well as any body hair whatsoever.

Watch this demonstration: Here’s a swine flu victim — we’ll call him “Chuy” — stranded on his couch and near death from using conventional medications prescribed by a so-called “licensed” medical doctor. Poor guy. He may never enjoy carnitas tacos again.

And now here’s Chuy, just 72 short hours after thoroughly applying Pig-Away to his entire body. That’s right. He’s headed out on the town with his homies. Adios, Chuy! Bring on the Mezcal, amigo!

Don’t be roped in by what those fools from the CDC are saying on the evening news. Anti-viral meds simply won’t get the job done. You need Pig-Away, the fast, easy, and effective way to rid yourself of the swine flu. Oink this, doc!

Call now and we’ll send you two buckets o’ Pig-Away for the price of one. That’s right, just $99.99 for enough Pig-Away to cure everyone in the entire barrio.

Get Pig-Away today and you’ll be Living la Vida Loca by the weekend!

Comments

[Jason Rohrblogger]

Two things: 1)This is likely your funniest post ever. 2)You worked a Mezcal reference in. Genius!